that i’m really pissed that i did like NOTHING at powderpuff practice tonight?
like, i’m just annoyed that for once in my life i want to be a part of something like this and actually want to (OH MY GOODNESS I CAN’T BELIEVE IT…DRUMROLL PLEEEASSEEEE) be athletic, and no one really cares. hey, i actually can catch the stupid ball. and i’m fast too, when i’m actually trying. but…i just get overlooked.
like in everything.
my freaking LIFE is the “picked last” stereotype.
which really sucks.
i don’t know. is it me? is it my fault that i can be so shy? i mean, i’m really trying to work on that. but part of that shyness is the fact that for so many years i’ve felt like i’m irrelevant to people, soooo…i don’t bother them. and i’m not sure how to come out of my shell without being annoying? because….i hate being shy. no, i mean, i really do. because, if you’ve ever hung out with me…and i mean like really hung out with me…i’m crazy. and not in like a weird annoying way. but i mean. i know people like to hang out with me when they give me the chance. but that’s the thing. people rarely give me the chance.
so i don’t know what to do. i’m not sure where the middle ground is.
i’m sick of being shy. i’m sick of being overlooked. i’m so so so so so freaking sick of it.
and now i sound whiney so i’m gonna shut up…
wow….this was only supposed to be me complaining about how i really wanna play football…
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